Our Family Event This Week
This week we celebrated a wedding in the family. My little brother was married, sealed to his sweetheart in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. The whole event was beautiful and romantic and heart-warming, everything that a wedding should be. Listening to my brother and his wife promise their lives to each other reminded me of my own wedding day and the things I promised. I took silent inventory of my own heart and thought of some ways that I can be a little kinder, more loving and appreciative of my spouse.
The thing that made this wedding particularly unique was that the bride and groom chose not to live together or even sleep together before-hand. Their attentions toward each other honored the old-fashioned traditions of courtship. As they drove off for their honeymoon together, looking forward to the new home they will share, and all the “firsts” that they saved for this person—the one they will spend their whole life with— the excitement in the air was palpable. Not just for them, but for all of us. They brought us all happiness by being so crazy, exultantly happy themselves. I don’t think many things can compete with that kind of joy. Probably just the joy of parenthood.
As I sat there at the reception, watching them on the dance floor, I thought, ‘People don’t know what they’re giving up when they miss out on this’. I think if you had a crystal ball and could actually see the two paths side-by-side, it would be obvious that “waiting” is the better deal. They say about 70 percent of couples live together before marriage. The attitude I often hear is , “Why wait to be happy?”. But, statistically, couples who live together before marriage are LESS likely to be happy in marriage and LESS likely to stay together after marriage. In light of those findings, cohabitation seems like a failed social experiment. I know the sentiment is unpopular, but I think waiting is worth it. It’s worth it to know that you have given your love—your new family— the very best possible chance of success. What an amazing gift of love and self-less sacrifice for your spouse.
Just ask my brother. I see a happiness in his eyes that is so contagious, I wish the whole world could feel the same. Everyone deserves to be that happy.